Wow, fantastic baby.

Hey guys. I really thot of blogging a really wordy post, but at the second thot, my mind went completely blank. I didnt know how to continue my sentences. Maybe cus I'm not blogging at the correct environment (living room's too ... noisy). Or maybe I'm just .. immune to the many thots running thru my mind. I typed halfway thru, and it goes "........." or even better, I stopped moving my fingers and simply stared blankly at this comp screen.

One thing I just dont get it, and I really need someone to enlighten me badly. I'm not in the right state of mind so whatever I'm saying here... I'm not sure if it's making sense, but I'll try to stay sober alright. /Mind's full of "QUICK GET TO HOMEWORK"/

So alright, few years ago - 2 to be exact - I first experienced this. I witnessed or heard from others, but I didnt feel it myself until back then. It seriously wasn't a good experience, and trust me, you wouldn't want to anticipate to feel it. That was when I first got dumped for no good reasons, really. Imagine this, you were really close to this friend and you could withstand his/her attitude when nobody else could. You treated this person really well and didn't mind the flaws. For me, I went like, it's alright, why, i thot it was okay? that kind of thot. Then like in a blink of an eye, you felt this : PEWWWWWW BOM! you fell from the 100th floor and died. The person walked away while you're on the way down to 1st from 100th floor. Taadaa that's it. Feel that emptiness? That kind of WHAT THE HELL IS THIS TREATMENT? You know? You know? Okay nvmind so that's what happened to me years ago. It's alright, I still survived, miraculously.

Then next, recently. RECENTLY. I'm really immune to it I swear, even tho it's only my second time. This time round, i felt like a withered flower thrown on the floor right now. Sorry if this example is a lousy one cus I CAN'T CONCENTRATE RIGHT NOW. Um okay where was I. So now my thot is like, errr okay this is it. I tried so badly to salvage it, but it's totally ridiculous how they just left you for no reasons. HOW RI DI CU LOUS can things be. I really wonder how people cherish things, and how easy-breezy they can just let go of some really precious thing it was once thot to be. They simply let it go like a small kid holding on to a bunch of balloons then fly it up into the sky thinking it's really pretty (okay yes it is I admit cus I think it looked nice in the sky flying freely too) BUT OI IM NOT BALLOONS.

There's really alot more to say, but I think i'm just gonna cut it short. I got tired of holding on to it, but i wouldnt mind if I were to continue holding. But tell me, tell me what's the point of holding even w energy when that thing doesnt want me to hold on to? Enlighten meeeeee PLEASE? :)

Alright gonna get back to my work now!

xoxo